FultonSix.com
Inevitable, huh?
Need I say more? Probably not, but you know me...I will anyway:
On April 11, 2009 I was baptized and received my sacraments. I am officially Catholic.
The day before I walked the Way of the Cross with Father Kevin Cavaluzzi and Lydia and Brandon (who both received their sacraments as well) and Sondra. The stops on the way to Ground Zero, the Stations of the Cross, my friends.
Years ago I wanted this to be done, I've known for years I've wanted to thank God for all He has blessed me with. I stopped going to that first RCIA because my cousin polluted it for me. She had already been baptized and only needed to receive communion and confirmation. She wears her cross, professes her faith in God. She is a hypocrite. And evil and vindictive as well. She received her sacraments, without an ounce of dignity to spare. She continues to this day to spew venom and hatred through her mouth and eyes from her putrid and rotting little dark soul.
Everything happens for a reason.
Months ago, when I began the RCIA at City Tech with Father Kevin, I'd already been attending mass at St. James at lunch whenever I could. They were very difficult times. I cried and wanted to give up. The liturgy always seemed to be something I needed to hear. I sat one day in the chapel, sobbing. Not knowing how to pray I did the best I could, the way I always had since I was a child.
I surrendered. I gave up what I thought was under my control. I told God I had enough, I didn't know what to do anymore. I asked Him to do what He thinks is right, whether or not I understand it or anyone else does. I stopped crying and went back to work.
And over the last few months I've cherished every moment God has worked with me, in the smallest ways and some big ones. The clouds have lifted, the curtains parted and the path was put before me. The hole was not filled - it was removed.
I look back on my life and I see now the patterns, the whys and whynots. I no longer care WHAT has happened, just that I have made it through. I am grateful for what I have, because I learned that now, I have everything I need. And God provides for those who ask.
I feel sorry for my cousin because I know what she has lost. And she knows it too. I only lost seeing her children, but that was not up to me. If God wants it that way, that is how it will be. Although it makes me sad, I will survive it and go on in spite of it, because that is how God wants it.
And then comes Danny. I am God's child. A wanted child in a benign universe. It is my proof that fate is not linear. Fate is circular. It ends where it began.
Need I say more? Probably not, but you know me...I will anyway:
On April 11, 2009 I was baptized and received my sacraments. I am officially Catholic.
The day before I walked the Way of the Cross with Father Kevin Cavaluzzi and Lydia and Brandon (who both received their sacraments as well) and Sondra. The stops on the way to Ground Zero, the Stations of the Cross, my friends.
Years ago I wanted this to be done, I've known for years I've wanted to thank God for all He has blessed me with. I stopped going to that first RCIA because my cousin polluted it for me. She had already been baptized and only needed to receive communion and confirmation. She wears her cross, professes her faith in God. She is a hypocrite. And evil and vindictive as well. She received her sacraments, without an ounce of dignity to spare. She continues to this day to spew venom and hatred through her mouth and eyes from her putrid and rotting little dark soul.
Everything happens for a reason.
Months ago, when I began the RCIA at City Tech with Father Kevin, I'd already been attending mass at St. James at lunch whenever I could. They were very difficult times. I cried and wanted to give up. The liturgy always seemed to be something I needed to hear. I sat one day in the chapel, sobbing. Not knowing how to pray I did the best I could, the way I always had since I was a child.
I surrendered. I gave up what I thought was under my control. I told God I had enough, I didn't know what to do anymore. I asked Him to do what He thinks is right, whether or not I understand it or anyone else does. I stopped crying and went back to work.
And over the last few months I've cherished every moment God has worked with me, in the smallest ways and some big ones. The clouds have lifted, the curtains parted and the path was put before me. The hole was not filled - it was removed.
I look back on my life and I see now the patterns, the whys and whynots. I no longer care WHAT has happened, just that I have made it through. I am grateful for what I have, because I learned that now, I have everything I need. And God provides for those who ask.
I feel sorry for my cousin because I know what she has lost. And she knows it too. I only lost seeing her children, but that was not up to me. If God wants it that way, that is how it will be. Although it makes me sad, I will survive it and go on in spite of it, because that is how God wants it.
And then comes Danny. I am God's child. A wanted child in a benign universe. It is my proof that fate is not linear. Fate is circular. It ends where it began.
Prayer of Trust in Darkness
O Lord God,
I am in a barren land,
parched and cracked by the violence
of the north wind and the cold.
But as you see,
I believe in you.
You will send me both dew and warmth
when I am ready.
St. Jane Frances de Chantal
As I knealt in the baptismal font of St. Brendan's, as Father Kevin blessed me in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, my heart was grateful. I heard nothing but my own thank you to God for believing in me, for my beautiful children, my job, my independence, my sanity, my sincerity and His love. And the return of my first love into my life, Danny.
If I die tomorrow, I die happy and at peace. I am now complete. Everything will be okay.
If I die tomorrow, I die happy and at peace. I am now complete. Everything will be okay.
